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Posts Tagged ‘Ashton Kutcher’

If you were to die today, you would either go to Heaven or be sent to a theater and be forced to watch “What Happens in Vegas” starring Ashton “The Tool” Kutcher and Cameron “Man in a Dress” Diaz.

I have not seen this movie, but I have had to sit through the fuckin’ trailer. And in the duration of the whole minute, I almost killed myself three times. Even the poster makes me want to blow my brains out. This is exactly the kind of propaganda that the Anti-Christ would use to take over the world… I’m not sure what that means but I’m sure Ashton Kutcher IS the devil or he is, at least, sitting in on the boardroom meetings in hell. That would explain “Punk’d”.

I know, how can I be so harsh on this film when I haven’t even seen it? Easy, I’ve never been to prison, but from what I’ve seen, I bet I would cry a lot and wish I were dead.

It looks as though everybody involved in this film has given up. I think top executives in Hollywood Have “Magnetic Screen Play” magnets on their corporate refrigerators.

It would go something like this: MAN MEETS + MONKEY + ROAD TRIP + GUN + MUST SAVE WORLD + ASHTON KUTCHER

Yay, Blockbuster!

fuck.

I’m gonna go watch “The Savages” again and eat Funyuns….

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