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Archive for the ‘PF dictionary’ Category

this one comes from my friend sarah when she worked at kiehl’s. i was reminded of it in a recent e-mail:

“oh, don’t forget correctify … that’s the one that J used to always say … frank thought maybe she was actually a genius—cuz it’s a pretty good word … too bad she didn’t realize she had made it up.”

tricky. derived from error and ignorance it brilliantly blends two synonyms into a superlative: tweek, fix, correctify. to be reserved for the most extreme fuck-ups: financial, legal, cosmetic surgery, teen parties, etc. when used to its full potential.

contextual use:

“…Warren Buffet correctified Bear Stearns’ collapse by purchasing remaining stock for $15 billion and absorbing it immediately into Berkshire Hathaway.”

“…Sarah, not to correctify you, but tangerine-banana candles don’t go with pine-pond moss ones.”

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this one came to me at hobby lobby. it was born out of frustration as well. frustration which stems from having to share one location with hundreds of non-artists, dabblers, crabs, crabby dabblers and red hat society members looking for red hat ephemera to jam up their yard, post on their doors, adhere to their windshields. having an art supply section that’s not only shitty but treated as an afterthought. treating paint and bristol board like unshaven, bra-less nobodies at a manicured sorority scrapbooking scrapoff. stupid carts filled with 4th-world tourist art and mylar and rubber stamp kits and scissors with feel-good tips. this word defines all hobby lobbiest activity occuring between the hours of 12 and 5 PM, generally sundays.

contextual use:

  • “louise, this crafternoon i need to spray paint these plastic pine cones gold…”
  • “tammy, would you tell louise to spray her cones outside? i’ve been suffering from mid-crafternoon headaches, thanks.”

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