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Archive for the ‘housewares’ Category

BELLEVUE, Ohio — Police said an Ohio man has been arrested for allegedly having sex with a picnic table.
Police arrested Arthur Price Jr. after an anonymous tipster dropped off three DVDs that reportedly showed Price in the act.

According to NBC Toledo, Ohio, affiliate WNWO-TV, the videos show Price tilting the metal round picnic table on its side and then laying up against it to have sexual intercourse with the table. Afterward, he can then be seen cleaning the table and the deck.

During questioning, he reportedly admitted to having sex with the table. Police said he also admitted to bringing the table inside his home for sex.

Price faces four counts of public indecency. He was freed after posting $20,000 bond, authorities said.

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turtles

I like ’em.

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I’m amazing.

This is my first post from my new Macbookpro.  You may notice that my posts from here on seem a lot more brilliant and downright wittier.

I really am amazing right this very second. (whoops, now it passed)

*back to fast forwarding through the people I can’t stand on American Idol to get to the ones I love… (don’t judge me)

-w.

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coffee

I love you coffee. You make me feel real. You make me cry and feel vulnerable…. I am yours. I will never forget you. I will never cheat on you. Dr. Pepper isn’t cheating? That’s pop. I need pop with my popcorn….

Anyway, coffee would never judge me.

I would never quit you… besides, your antioxidants prevent free radicals from damaging my cells.  

And I like that.

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new fridge.

fridge2__

I got a new fridge today.

The old one was making a high pitched shrill that was slowly driving me mad. It told me to do terrible things… which I refused to do. But it did have a way… it had been around the block a few times, and it knew I was a sucker for “old school charm”.

Fuck you old fridge. I’m free of you.

-wade

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