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Archive for the ‘art tools’ Category

this one came to me at hobby lobby. it was born out of frustration as well. frustration which stems from having to share one location with hundreds of non-artists, dabblers, crabs, crabby dabblers and red hat society members looking for red hat ephemera to jam up their yard, post on their doors, adhere to their windshields. having an art supply section that’s not only shitty but treated as an afterthought. treating paint and bristol board like unshaven, bra-less nobodies at a manicured sorority scrapbooking scrapoff. stupid carts filled with 4th-world tourist art and mylar and rubber stamp kits and scissors with feel-good tips. this word defines all hobby lobbiest activity occuring between the hours of 12 and 5 PM, generally sundays.

contextual use:

  • “louise, this crafternoon i need to spray paint these plastic pine cones gold…”
  • “tammy, would you tell louise to spray her cones outside? i’ve been suffering from mid-crafternoon headaches, thanks.”
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in 2005 Adobe Systems Incorporated acquired Macromedia thus creating a software empire with weapons like Flash, Dreamweaver, and Photoshop in its powerful arsenal. But one of Adobe’s best weapons has been collecting dust in the basement – Freehand. When Adobe purchased Macromedia they decided to kill Freehand and force Freehand users to migrate over to Illustrator. This is like trading in a Mercedes-Benz to get a Dodge Stratus. Freehand was/is simply a better product, and Adobe has failed to see the benefit of supporting this powerful product. They claim that have added new features to Illustrator CS3 to make the transition easier for Freehand users, but the majority of the features that make Freehand so powerful remain absent from Illustrator. So where the fuck are these features that are going to make us Freehand loyalists happy? What about multiple page layouts, or paste inside, or the mirror tool, or find and replace? To name just a few. Illustrator has clipping masks…. fuck clipping masks. They suck, they are a pain in the ass to use. Paste inside is a far superior and user friendly and time efficient feature. If Illustrator was a 12 step program it would be 24 steps, and we would have a bunch of drunk people crashing into things. Adobe InDesign has many of these features so why doesn’t Illustrator? Why not beef up InDesign and phase out Illustrator. Just make InDesign a really bad ass vector illustration and page layout program. I’m holding out as long as a I can. I’m loyal to Freehand. I just pray that Apple buys Freehand from Adobe and then crushes Illustrator. Illustrator can suck it.

Dear God
Please bring back Freehand. World hunger and Global Terrorism can wait, that shit ain’t going away. But you can easily bring back Freehand. You are all powerful and all knowing and you know the right thing to do.

Thank you God
Love
Dust
freehand-cs3.jpg

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in beta.
on-line.
free.
kicks ass.

use me!

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